Afifah.
Life gives us more than we could handle.
|
Sunday, February 6
This is hard.
Uhh, hi? I bet no one will be reading this in the future right? Well, idc. So, where do i start? Let's go back to the start of 2011.  January, the month that i've received my result. Its really heart-breaking to know that I didnt actually make it. Its like everything around me collapsed. It hurts alot. But I just cant seem to let go of my tears. Not even a single drop. But you know what "Silence is the loudest cry." I used to be proud of myself of being seniors-among-seniors. But now i dont. Im choosing the same route all over again. Its a tough decision. At one point i feel like giving up. Everything. But I dont wish to disappoint my mum again. & I dont wanna give a chance to those who look down on me, look down on me further. Got that? k nvm. It is also the month that I have changed. From someone who takes everything lightly, who smiles and laugh every now & then, who talks alot(k mayb not alot uh :/), who thinks that there's still tomorrow, who thinks that everything will go smoothly in her life. I have changed. I fake smile. I forced myself to smile or laugh cos I dont like the idea of people knowing that I have problems. I speak less. & i mean it. I hide myself in my room. Always have my Ipod as my companion. Its like living in my own world. Iuthf, bnid. Figure that out. I dont trust anyone now. I used to. But this world is complicated enough. I'll never know what they are thinking. I miss my old life. But then again without any setbacks or failure, you'll never understand the meaning of success. Now i do. Well atleast I believe in it 50%. I used to care about how people feels. Not anymore. Why should i give a damn to those who thinks about themselve & often blame others. I really dont care. Having one hater is like being famous.k idk if that makes sense. Hah. k Enough of this. The thought of me being an 18yr old CHILD/GIRL/TEEN/LADY/WOMAN MAKES ME FEEL SO OLD. OMGGGG. Why does the years pass by so fast. >:[ Haha. Idk what that means. KBYE. Posted by your Mom. @ 2:44:00 PM
|